。◕‿◕。

Homestuck Omegle

Eridan vs Stranger:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: hey
Stranger: is
Stranger: for
Stranger: horses
You: i knoww ivve livved beside eq before
Stranger: yeah i know right
You: oh my cod you knoww him
Stranger: i like cod
Stranger: tasty fish
You: im an evven more tasty fish
Stranger: oh really?
Stranger: what kinda fish are ya
You: royal ampora
Stranger: what?!!!
Stranger: Those are the kind of fish they speak of in fairy tales............and pornos!
You: wwell yes a course they are
You: oh cod youvve seen my r-rated stuff
Stranger: Fuck that
Stranger: I've seen the UN rated stuff
You: wwoww
Stranger: with sexy special features
Stranger: on disc 2
You: i didnt evven knoww there wwas a disc 2!
Stranger: Yeah usually porno film companies don't tell you these things.
You: fuckin assholes
Stranger: I would know, my aunt is a catfish. She was a LEGENDARY porn star....or so I've heard.
You: oh jegus i think i knoww her! or i should say ive seen her
You: my collection is pretty impressive
Stranger: You may have, but she is retired now.
You: an you took her place
Stranger: Well
Stranger: if you've seen her moves in her films
Stranger: they can only be recreated through family members.
Stranger: I would have to take her place
You: so its like a bloodline kinda thing
Stranger: because my parents are too busy with their high paying jobs =
Stranger: yeah
You: wwell
You: i havve brought my owwn bucket....
Stranger: You should feel lucky all the same though.
You: me! you should feel lucky
Stranger: Royal amporas are rather rare
Stranger: and there are a lot of guys out there with royal ampora fetishes
You: oh?
You: do you happen to havve their numbers?
Stranger: No
Stranger: That's just what my agent told me
Stranger: I don't know if its entirely true but i wouldnt be surprised!
You: i wwouldnt put it past em!
You: i mean i am pretty damn sexy
You: my horns bring all the trolls to the vail
Stranger: It's pretty funny when its considered a compliment when a man masterbates to you these days.
You: shore its alwways a compliment when they fill buckets for you
Stranger: oh man
Stranger: you have no idea
Stranger: I've had a boy fill me 3 of those things
You: reely! wwhat did the mothergrub say?
Stranger: She filled 3 more buckets.
You: wwhat!?
You: the mothergrub filled them herself?!
Stranger: no it was a teamwork thing.
Stranger: son, mother, and father
You: wwell yea a course
Stranger: the daughter...being a teenager and all...thought she was too good for me
Stranger: don't worry she got eaten by a shark
You: i wwas wwondering wwhere that shark wwhen!
You: a'll givve em a face full a harpoon wwhen I sea em!
Stranger: nahh
Stranger: sharks aren't that bad once you're on their good side
You: good side?
You: im from the sea! i rule ovver all sea dwweller
You: apart from fef
Stranger: fef?
You: yea fef. feferi? dont tell me you dont knoww her
You: wwait a coddamn second
Stranger: Name rings a bell...
You: sol!! is this you! are you fuckin wwith me right now you beach!?
Stranger: What do you mean?
You: i knoww its you sol
Stranger: Sol?
Stranger: My name is Daphne!
You: wwell wwhy didnt you say!
You: dont you knoww your talkin to the prince of all hope right noww?
Stranger: Really?
Stranger: ;)
You: Reely
Stranger: Does that mean you're rich and famous?
You: a course it does!
Stranger: how much fish do you fuck in a day sweet prince?
You: wwhat!? i dont fuck fish! i mean wwe dont do it like that and I dont knoww howw a fish wwould fill a bucket
Stranger: So you're a virgin?
You: you say it likes its a bad thing! im only six solar sweeps!
Stranger: How the fuck do you explain your videos?
You: a trolls gotta fill a bucket himself noww an then .....
Stranger: I thought you were a fish not a troll....
You: im eridan fuckin ampora! the prince of all hope! highblood sea dwweller! the most royal troll in all of alternia .... other than fef
Stranger: and you're a virgin....
Stranger: something doesn't add up
You: yea cod damn it!
Stranger: I was going to give you a super fishy blowjob
You: oh my cod your a nubsucker!?
Stranger: The men need to be happy and I need some sea dollars to get my groceries
Stranger: Porn alone can't pay the rent
You: .....wwill...
You: wwill you be in my quadrant?
Stranger: I don't know
Stranger: I mean you are rich
You: an powwerful
Stranger: It just seems like such a joke now that you don't seem a great prince as you once appeared
Stranger: the ocean is just a lie now
Stranger: I shall have to kill myself
You: wwell!!


Equius vs Stranger:

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: ey
Stranger: m?
You: D --> what does that mean?
You: D --> Does it mean 'Musclebeast'?
Stranger: :/
Stranger: are you male?
You: D --> Yes I am
Stranger: fuck sake
Stranger: i only wanted to know :(
You: D --> May I ask a question?
Stranger: depends if your gonna rip the cunt out of me again
You: D --> I wasn't aware I was ripping anything. Forgive me, my STRONG text didn't mean to harm you.
You: D --> I was curious over what colour your blood was. Is it b100 perhaps? or maybe purple?
Stranger: i was always told it was blueish but it turns red once it hits oxygen
You: D --> I see.
You: D --> then you may perhaps be a highb100d after all.
Stranger: do you like girls?
You: D --> It depends on their blood type. My... forgive me I'm perspiring
Stranger: your annoying ¬.¬
You: D --> How rude
Stranger: so?
Stranger: problem?
You: D ---> I have no problem. Other then finding someone to help me drink my lusus milk
Stranger: santa will help


Dave vs Stranger:

you're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: hi
You: hi
Stranger: asl?
You: really wouldnt it be more ironic if you didnt know
Stranger: i guess so
You: thats what im talking about bro
You: soooooo
Stranger: soooooooo
You: nice like what you did there bro so cool
Stranger: seriously
Stranger: your boring
Stranger: *youre
You: you're actually bro
Stranger: mhmm
Stranger: sure i am
You: no
You: i was correcting you
Stranger: well thank you
Stranger: i appreciate that
You: nice like the sarcasm there. still hope
Stranger: thanks
Stranger: i like my sarcasm
You: its your most fetching quality
Stranger: you have no idea
You: unless you're as dense as tavros i doubt it
Stranger: my roomates are fighting
Stranger: got to go
You: watch out for those stairs bro
Stranger: no stairs
Stranger: 1 story house
Stranger: bro
。◕‿◕。

Find A Needle In A Haystack

 

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